It's So Hard to Say Goodbye...

but not really, because i'm just a hop, skip and a jump away...find me here
and change those readers and feeds my friends - i wouldn't want you to miss out on the fun

...i'm just saying

Holy Hell They Block G-Chat?!

i'm literally running out the door. it's 5:45am and my bus arrives, according to next muni, in 19 minutes. i don't want to be too early and i don't want to be too late. its a perfect balance that on day two i am trying hard to get better than day one.

yesterday was really good and if it wasn't so god for saking early i'd try to elaborate on what all that means. i'd tell you stories about being taken out to lunch, about the fact that when i have to drive somewhere for a work event they prefer i use a jcc van, about how i'm fairly sure i can wear jeans each and every day and maybe the possibility of sweatpants (okay, not for me, but i'm pretty sure i did see a girl wearing sweatpants).

but its early and i must go.

so until next time, which will hopefully take the form of later tonight...
i'm off to be a camp director - LOVE how that sounds
peace :)

If I Wasn't SO Awake, I'd Go Back to Bed

yes its true. i'm blogging early in the am, before i head off to work. just checking in - letting you know i settled on an outfit. THIS dress, with tights and flat boots. although its shown with a real belt it comes with a tie belt...which i don't really enjoy. but i learned, when working as a stylist (remember that?) to change out the belt to update a look (i love my accessories) so i'm wearing a wide black belt and i think its more me. i'm also wearing my FREE monogram cardigan because how can one not feel good when wearing that?! i look like me, but me me in muted colors. i want to leave my mark, but not too much of a mark on the first day...you know?

i'm eating strawberries that i sliced last night and i'm sipping coffee. i have my bus schedule printed out and NEXTMUNI bookmarked on my computer and on my phone so i feel good to go. i packed my lunch last night. we have siblings of friends crashing at our place the next few nights so i have san francisco books on the coffee table. i have an idea of what's for dinner (did i mention i have enough chicken from soup production, to feed a small army?).

it seems as if i have all my bases covered - i thought of everything...almost. see it didn't dawn on me (ha!) that when it stays light later in the day, the flip side is that it gets light later in the morning. so when my alarm went off at 6...it was dark...as in pitch black. and if i'm keeping to my plan and hitting the gym before work, that means the alarm has to go off at 5:40 which means, well it means a shock to the system.

and before i go, because i am all consumed by this - EVERYTHING smells like chicken soup. my sheets, my towels, my couch. me? do i smell as if i've dabbed a little ode to grandma's kitchen behind my ears? good thing i'm workin' for the jews...i should fit right in :)

My Brain is Filing Up with Bullet Points

i've been holding off posting because i thought i was going to be posting from my new home...but its just not ready yet and i feel like a ton has been going on and well, i'm getting overwhelmed by not writing it all down. so briefly...

• i made the roast chicken. i went organic rather than kosher - i was told that organic also had no innards. i was brave and shoved my hand in, up to my wrist (don't worry, i removed all rings) to put salt and pepper and lemons and a bay leaf all up in there and all felt hollow so i figured it was all good. until i started cutting up the cooked bird only to find out that in fact the innards were, in fact, in there. so i did what any other girl would do - i used a plastic grocery bag and picked them out - dog poop style. the chicken itself tasted yum and was really moist. it could have used more flavor but now i know for next time (and also...kosher all the way).
• i am now the owner of this. and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me
• friday night we went to services with a couple from our MARRIED PEOPLE CLASS (MPC) and the couple we stole from that god awful awkward shabbat dinner. we walked in and knew people and that felt good. services were less than stellar (there was this unfortunate incident with some girl singing amazing grace) but the people were good. drinks afterwards meant for a really good friday night.
• saturday we drove up to napa to pick up wine from our wine club. we stopped at TAYLOR'S for fish tacos (and sweet potato fries!) and then hit THE WINE GARAGE - where we met up with MPC who happened to be in the valley as well. we bought wine for our passover seders (did i mention we're having people over both nights?!) and tasted and tasted.
  
• today i made the chicken soup for passover. it was a pretty insane experience, i'm not going to lie. but it's done and my house smells amazing so that must mean something...right?

alright, time for a little work (of the part-time variety) because i find it calming and then a good night sleep before it gets all kind so of crazy tomorrow.

and don't worry, the new blog is coming...i'll keep you posted.

SPOILER ALERT!

basically my favorite time of the week is when AUSIELLO from entertainment weekly, posts his weekly spoilers on the website. at some point we back in 2008, when he was still at tv guide and i would skip my way to work an anticipation on wednesday mornings, smiling as i daydreamed about the latest hirings and firings, and what drama those crazy kids at GREYS were up to (this was back when we still cared about greys...today...BARF...but of course i still watch...i just don't...CARE...okay i just don't care AS MUCH) - he disappeared. with no explanation. i didn't understand why this little piece of heaven had been taken away from me. but i was also consumed by you know, packing up my life and moving across the country and so i simply sulked, felt wronged and and took it completely personally.

but fear not. as i began to settle into life in san francisco, with ample hours to scour the internet, i became reinvigorated. i would find my friend MICHAEL AUSIELLO (and yes, he's now totally my friend on facebook too!) and i would ask him to spoil the ending...please! turns out, dude wasn't hard to find. he was just working for the man (ie EW)...aren't we all? he now does his spoiling on THURSDAY mornings, which makes me confused but at he same time, is a nice way to begin to wrap up my week. i use his post as a reward. it's currently open on my tabs, but i'm saving it until i've checked things off my to do list (blog...check! SCORE!). no, i don't understand his obsession with the smurfs (growing up, my dad wouldn't let me watch the smurfs OR strawberry shortcake because in his opinion they were just too stupid...yet i still ended up being OBSESSED with the BACHELOR and all things REAL HOUSEWIVES so really he should have just let me be like everyone else...oh yeah, and play on a soccer team too...i hold no grudges), or snapple. but he's got all the secrets and so i love him. a lot.

as a side note, NBC is not loading on my tv. which is fine for now because it's 9am and i can't stand the 3rd hour of the TODAY SHOW (now 7am, that's another story). but i'm already anticipating that it won't work come 9pm when my dvr is set to record THE OFFICE. yes, i always assume the worst.

oh, and i'm making a roast chicken tonight. it's my first time. well, my first time since i was about 10 and scarred for life when i had to reach inside and pull out the innards. that's just nasty. but grandma told me that the kosher kind have the innards already removed. which sounds like a very good thing. i'll let you know how all that goes.

and one more thing...the new blog is just about ready. it's been a labor of love - mostly for ABN. he comes home after a long day and just goes at it. i have a hard time with change but i keep reminding myself its a good thing - and it is. i'm also updating my blog roll! stay tuned....

At 3pm I have to Give up my Seat in the Teen Section

as i'm down to my last few days of total freedom (before the big job starts and i have little time to breathe let alone blog) i'm taking full advantage of my lack of structure. after ABN left this morning - i went back to sleep. i haven't done that, not once, since moving to SF. and it felt so good. i haven't slept well the last couple of nights. i'm doing that mind racing thing and at the same time hording my ativan - i really need to get a doctor so i can refill my prescription - a bad combination. things currently on my mind include, but are clearly not limited to:

• switching blog hosts/title/layout - it feels like a hell of a lot of change. what if my readers don't make the transition?
• making sure ABN does our taxes
• prepping for passover - i'm making the chicken soup this weekend
• CURLY - we need a phone date asap
• taxes
• cancelling my gym membership - have mentioned my new job has a fancy gym? (i know, i know...)
• convincing ABN we are ready for a dog, by doing my part to research how much caring for a dog really costs, talking to my landlord, and sending him throughout the day photos of dogs that are up for adoption that are just too cute to resist. i fell head over heels with a certain mutt named astro yesterday - but i believe that loyal protector of his territory is code word for barker...so i've moved on

my plate is feeling pretty full and i haven't even begun to think about what i'm going to wear for my first day of work on friday (talk about stressful!). i'm also in need of a work bag - or at least, i would like to get a new bag for work. i have a pretty good idea of what i want but can't seem to find the right one anywhere. you know, big enough for a notebook but not SO big (SO BIG is usually my problem). something that falls perfectly in the crook of my arm. black. in case anyone is interested, i love everything on the cole haan website - but they are way out of my price range.

yeah, i think that covers it.

after my extra hour of sleep today i headed to BERNIE'S and then the gym and now i'm in the hot and noisy library (you'd think i'd learn). the library is not helping with my feelings of trying to keep my head above water. i finally finished THE ABSTINENCE TEACHER (blech...i have no idea what the point was. there was no resolution. and it was trashy. but without real sex. i hated it. but of course, i read it cover to cover anyway). i currently have four library books in my possession - one for book club, one that i picked up before my trip that i had reserved months ago that finally came in and then today - two more were ready. i also have PEOPLE OF THE BOOKsitting on my shelf, patiently waiting and waiting, endlessly waiting. and i need to find a book on dog adoption. and my VANITY FAIR still hasn't arrived and i don't know whether i should be grateful because i can't handle one more thing or annoyed because where the hell is it? (i feel equal parts of both).

Does Your Iphone Get Super Gross with Face Sweat...or is it Just Me?!

i am currently in a coffee shop that has gone to the trouble of covering up each and every outlet, thus limiting the time i can sit at my laptop and work. this is something i don't understand. why would the owners of said establishment make such a decision? the coffee shop is big, with ample seating, right in the heart of the mission so really the culture is laid back except for this one, uncharacteristically stalin-esque twist. and of course, the coffee is the best around. my life is so hard.

i'm enjoying my last few days as a member of the unemployed world - crossing things off my list at a rapid pace: schedule oil change - check! inquire about recalled air bags (sketchy) - check! send thank you/graduation gift to BOBBSEY TWIN for letting me crash at her pad during my trip to LA - check (well, i'm on my way there next). i love accomplishing the things on my list and the physical act of crossing item off the list - in equal parts. i'm also planning lunch with THE EXPERT and a shopping extravaganza (on a pre-determined budget) at PINEAPPLE NATION...after all, who knows when the discount could get cut off!

one big item on the agenda is to revamp this here blog. as i mentioned a couple of weeks ago - stay tuned for a new name (ohmygod its so good) and a new host as well as a new look. that's the part i'm currently having the most trouble with. i LOVE my current blog layout but as so many of you can sympathize - my blogging needs have gone above and beyond what i feel blogger can accommodate. so i'm making the change and thus, unless ABN can save the day, my layout will be a thing of the past. if you have ideas or suggestions of where a girl can turn to get the look i'm going for, PUHLEASE let me know...i'm already mourning the loss.

the rest of the trip to LA was mostly painless (except for the eyebrow wax - ow!). BOBBSEY TWIN wins best cousin of the year award for sure. we spent much quality time together, talking and even enjoying a drink (i find it nearly impossible to turn down malibu, lemonade and cranberry juice and i was proven right yet again!). after two nights with grandma and papa i am now the proud owner of a cheese slicer and a baking rack - i always know who to turn to when i am in need of the random kitchen supply. and saturday was filled with catching up with friends from my past which left me smiling rather than scratching (surprising i know!).

Her Favorite Things

i'm finally home....and it feels so good.

even better, because i arrived to find jennifer from if you're happy and you know it....say amen! had sent me her favorite things!

do you see what i see? jennifer's favorites things are MY favorite things!

wine glasses - check! and stemless to boot! i've always wanted stemless stemware :)
a green croc clutch/wallet...hi, i love EVERYTHING croc
a gorgeous lip gloss that promises to stay put
and milk chocolate with almonds - who am i kidding, ABN already grabbed hold of that one!

thanks jennifer - you made me day, and my homecoming!

and now...i'm exhausted...even after an hour long nap. so it seems like purim '09 is consisting of catching up on my dvr (i'm a bit overwhelmed) and eating hamantaschen ala aunt eileen. perfection as far as i'm concerned.

LA Lady

even though LA LBN doesn't really blog (yes, i have a different persona when i'm down here...it involves even bigger sunglasses and even higher heels) i wanted to let you all know i'm still alive and kicking (after all, i'd be worried if i hadn't heard from you in a few days). a couple of really quick updates:

• its raining and i don't understand
• the pilot for my flight yesterday morning thought we were leaving two hours later and thus didn't show up on time
• i've eaten my chopped salad and it was very good
• EDDIE still has way more boxes to go through than he has time to go through them
• at first i thought NANI and EDDIE had re done their den, then i realized they had just removed the slipcovers, its like 1983 all over again
• i went to faconnable (which insist on pronouncing FUCK-N-ABLE) and...that shit is simply bananas!
• having ANOTHER red head in brentwood is a really good thing
• TWIST is also a really good thing
• agoura really isn't that far
• apparently i still like ribs
• and scotch
• reconnecting with old friends is really really nice
• especially when there is no drama
• and especially when they have cute partners with salt and pepper hair

alright its time for bed. ABN says there is a package waiting for me, and i know its from JENNIFER, my swap partner. i can't wait to get home and discover her favorite things! want to know what my favorite things are ? (who are you kidding, of course you do!). click on her name to find out!

Who's the Old Lady? It's Me!

so today's my birthday...booyah! (yeah, i don't know...it just came out...it's early)...and i haven't written in a few days due to an impromptu weekend getaway to monterey (side note: apparently I LOVE AQUARIUMS or at least the monterey aquarium...its possible i kicked small children out of the way in order to get a better look). i tend to get overwhelmed by birthdays and what it all means so instead....

28 reasons its great to be 28 (or things i appreciate now that i might have overlooked when i was young and dumb :))

1. paying bills on time. does anyone else feel like this is a major accomplishment? i literally get a sharp and direct feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when i drop the check in the mail before it's due every month. mind you, ABN is totally in charge of bills and does all money management online, but i take care of my PINEAPPLE NATION credit card (which i would like to note, has not been used since i quit my job, thank you very much) and i feel disproportionately in control of the universe when i mail that check. now if only i could stop spending money to begin with...but its my birthday and i don't need to think about that...today.

2. i'm writing again. sure, most of the writing that i'm doing is on this blog and i'm not sure if anything tangible will come out of it. but more days than not i'm sitting down and putting words together in some sort of organized way. and that's big for me. and i think it's healthy too.

3. i'm back on the west coast. which could have come with a lot of baggage no doubt. but instead has created the perfect opportunity to reconnect with friends and spend more, quality time with family. i hate missing out on the party! and ABN and i have begun to create our life together. just the two of us. and that's nice.

4. i'm maintaining friendships and relationships on the east coast. i'm not sure if that has more to do with me or the people that are important to me, but 12 years ago, when i moved the last time, it didn't quite work out that way. and so with the move this time i was very concerned that i would have to start completely over again. instead, not only am i creating a life here, but i'm lucky enough to have wonderful support and connections on the other side of the country.

5. the gym at the jcc! okay, not only the gym (although what a perk!) but the new job in general. i think i've felt a bit lost in my professional life, probably since the day my professional life started. i've loved every job i've ever had and worked my ass off (well, i've given it my all anyway) but i've never known what comes next. no direction. just more questions. but with my new job, i feel like i'm getting the opportunity to do what i've ALWAYS wanted to do in the community i want to do it. and there are endless possibilities as to what will come next. so many, i don't have to think about it right now. i can just live in the moment....

6. which brings me to my next point - living in the moment - or not. when i was younger (like yesterday) it was something i strived for...something that other people talked about doing and i felt like i should do too. but guess what? its not so much me to live in the moment, to not think about consequences or what comes next, to not plan ahead. and at 28, i'm moving on. i'm enjoying the moment and our life now. but i'm also aware that the future is coming and its okay to talk about and to prepare. for me, that's not a bad thing.

7. cheese - okay, i appreciated cheese when i was not 28...but i think 28 is going to be the year of cheese. good cheese. yum....cheese

8. recipe nights - i could break this down into two things i'm thankful for. and because i have to think of 28 i will. the first is this...i'm thankful that my partner and i enjoy spending time together exploring our cookbooks. i think sometimes i wish we had more time, that we could spend time in the kitchen together, cooking and relaxing more often. but i think we are lucky to have the time that we do and that it is even more special and fun because we don't do it all the time.

9. recipe nights - its been pretty great to have the time to read blogs and pour over my cookbooks and discover recipes and meals to create on my own. i like taking out my pots and pans and dough hooks and filling the house with spices so that when ABN opens the door after a long day of work his first words are..."something smells really good"

10. turning to celebrities for my drama - so anyone who knows me in real life (or who has ever read this blog before...ever) knows i'm obsessed. i want to know what they're wearing, where they're wearing it and who they are sitting next to while they where it. sometimes celebrity gossip gets me through my day. and when they are having a slow day, i'm haivng a slow day too. but i think i'm so much happier using celebrities to fulfill my drama needs rather than my own life...i wouldn't argue that my own life is drama free - but i'm trying my darndest to move in that direction (to that note...rhianna - i have an extra bedroom...come here, we'll talk).

11. the understanding that hair grows back. mind you, i have a great hair cut. but MARTIN, who i love, doesn't always listen. so while i went in back in november for a trim in order to get rid of dead ends and with a goal to grow it out, he went to town and gave me an adorable new do. but here's the thing - as a camp director (i love the way that sounds) girl needs to be able to put her hair up in a pony (you can't argue with me on that one, even if you prefer my hair short...mom). in the past an unplanned-for short cut might have led me to a catatonic state but today - i'll rock my do (which is growing) and embrace the day when i can put it up in a messy bun.

12. designer jeans on sale at loehmanns

13. being a member of a wine club...getting wine delievered straight to the door...amazing

14. having a washer and dryer in the house - i had no idea it could bring so much pleasure

15. diet coke from a fountain - yes, a diet coke has the power in my life to change a day from bad to good - no doubt. but only fountain soda. which is such a good thing. cans of diet coke used to pulse through my veins multiple times a day and now its reserved for special occasions or you know, moments of real desperation. i appreciate the power (and taste) of my dc so much more than before.

16. my awesome clipboard! okay, well, i'm not sure how much this has to do with me being 28, but i think it has a bunch to do with THE CHARACTER being 24 and thus buying me the most awesome birthday gift ever! every camp director needs a clipboard and the one that i JUST opened (ABN told me i should open one gift this morning...) is freaking amazing!

17. waking up a little earlier than necessary. i like taking my time, drinking my coffee, checking my email, finding out what's going on in the world with matt lauer. making the most of my morning. even i groan when my alarm goes off (or really, when i wake up a couple of minutes before the alarm goes off...its just my way) i enjoy the quiet time. and i think it starts me off for a better kind of day.

18. being 28 rather than 38 because 38 would mean i'd have to think of a lot more things to put on this list...now i know why people stick to 10.

19. my parents and our mostly wonderful relationship. we've grown up a lot together - and worked on our relationships a lot. we're in a really great place right now (and i know ABN has a lot to do with that...i will argue forever that my parents decided they liked me more when i started dating ABN, but it goes both ways). i know it pains them that i'm so far away but i'm not sure if they realize that it says a lot about our relationship that my distance makes them sad. there have definitely been times in our history when that would not have been the case (see age 14-22).

20. dates (of the dried fruit variety). how did i exist so long with out them?

21. brussel sprouts (see dates).

22. working with teens. so grateful to no longer be one.

23. rediscovering NPR. when i lived in LA and went to the BIG M i spent almost every morning trapped in the middle seat listening to the not-so-headline-news on morning edition. and i didn't get it. i found it annoying - well, at that time i found most things annoying. but now, my day is incomplete without the nasal and dry (don't they always sound like they need a sip of water?) voices of the npr reporters. i'm so glad i opened myself up to listening again because i can't imagine my 28 year old self without it.

24. cohabitation - who knew sharing everything could be so much fun?

25. being partnered. ABN = being in a good place.

26. reading because i enjoy a good story. i think i've always liked to read but like so many things in my life, ran away from it for a long time because i knew it was something i was supposed to do. but now i get to read what i want when i want and it turns out...i want to read a lot. ABN laughs at me because often times i will finish books and articles that i am not necessarily enjoying. but the truth is, i like the act of reading and while i might enjoy the story itself - i'll feel unsettled FOREVER if i walk away without knowing what happens in the end.

27. tinting my eyebrows and eyelashes...on an almost regular basis. i think the fact that i did not do this in high school is directly related to how miserable i was.

and finally...

28. i'm 28. that just sounds like a good place to be...