okay, i know you have all been waiting with baited breath for me to weigh in on this very important topic. at the end of the day, i'm glad the daddy is dylan. in some ways, even though it is sad that DYLAN and KELLY aren't together right now, we know there is more to their history than what we have seen on the show. i was for sure rooting for STEVE (only because, come on, he is the best cryer out there! we need him to come back!) and even rationalized that the kid's name (SAMMY) could be after STEVE'S mother SAMANTHA SANDERS (i'm a genius, i know), remember how they made her a lesbian in the last season...and then how STEVE had to DEAL with it? all the crying!?!) but that would have meant that STEVE and JANET were no longer together which would have basically been tragic...tragic. and now i'm done.
in an effort to get back to MY life, rather than the lives of people on MY SHOWS...
ABN and i ate dinner together again last night...salad full of purchases from our local farmer's market, topped with chicken breast. a nice balance to the grandma's spaghetti from the night before (oh we are still feeling that). we started talking about the fact that since unpacking the GRE book, it has remained placed, permanently, on the same space of floor in our bedroom. have i given up on the idea of grad school?
i have no real answer and at the same time...so many. thinking about grad school makes me break out in hives (for obvious and not so obvious reasons). it makes me *crazy* to think about the process itself, if it will work out, if i can be successful. do i need grad school? am i really interested in these programs? can i see moving up at PN in my future? can i take myself seriously if that is what i really wanted? would i judge me? would you?
i do know that if i don't move forward with grad school now, it isn't going to happen for the foreseeable future. this is the time...these are the years. i am officially not looking (right now) for another "real" job (if i stay at PN i think the first step may be referring to what i do as a REAL job, i've truly never worked so hard in my life!) but i did hear about one job that is amazing...and while i don't think i'll get an interview, if it ends up being the right job for me, that would mean no grad school - so would deciding to look for a job in the non-profit world. decisions scare me. PN hurts my feet.
discuss.
i have my first day off in what feels like forever. i can't imagine what it will feel like to not be walking back and forth - back and forth...i feel like maybe i should pace my apartment. instead, i'm off to have lunch with a friend i used to carpool with to hebrew school. and maybe to buy some new towels...after all my parents are coming in a week!
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