Isn't that Nice

maybe a year after ABN and i started dating i went down to florida with DAD PRIME, DBN and P/P to visit grandpa bob. i had met him earlier in our relationship but it wasn't under the most uplifting of circumstances (want to know something AWKWARD? meeting the guy you're digging's entire extended family at a funeral...ugh) and was excited to spend some time doing the florida thang.

you see, i was lucky enough to grow up with 4 grandparents who all lived within a 6 mile radius of me. and until my family dramatically moved across the country when i turned 17 (not sure if i've mentioned that before...wink wink) i spent countless dinners around their table, sundays in their swimming pool and tuesday afternoons lying on my back in their grass counting clouds and pennies. as much as i loved having them close by, i longed for my own set of florida grandparents. i was jealous of my friends who took cross-country flights on their own, who spent winter vacation basking in the tropical florida sun, who played shuffle board with mr. and mrs. goldfarb while their own grandparents played their weekly bridge game and who had to put on a blue sports jacket just to go downstairs to dinner in the dinning room of the old folks home. to me florida sounded like basically the coolest place EVER.

so when ABN asked if i wanted to come along i jumped at the opportunity. i had heard about the early bird rib special at flanigan's and about the all you can it salad bar at sweet tomato. i knew that we would probably go to fra diavolo at least twice, and that grandpa bob would order veal marsala and that ABN would not, and that grandpa bob would shake his head in disbelief. i knew there would be dancing daily and that while grandpa bob was happy to dance with DBN or P/P or me at a family gathering, he couldn't disappoint his regular partners. i knew that in florida everything was super air conditioned so i needed to always have a sweater. point me in the right direction - i was good to go.

in addition i was told it was imperative that i bring a swimsuit because, one of grandpa bob's favorite activities, at 98, was to swim. check. that first day we were there, ABN took our swimsuits with us everywhere, but grandpa bob shot us down when we told him we were ready, "it's only 80 degrees, today, that's not swimming weather." our bad.

the next day, we were caught off guard. it was 83 out, and therefore, perfect for swimming. but we had left our swimsuits back at the hotel. it was clear, grandpa bob was a man who would wait for no one, luckily he was also a man with a solution - ABN could borrow one of his swim suits...PERFECT.

as DBN and i sat in the living room waiting for ABN to emerge with GREAT anticipation, we heard a few grunts and weird sucking noises coming from the bathroom.

"you okay in there?" i asked, tentively

"uh huh..."

"you coming out anytime soon?"

"uhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"let's get a move on, it's time to swim", if anyone could get the boy to move, it was grandpa bob

and then out walked ABN in the tightest pair of red, white and blue swimming trunks from 1953 that anyone had EVER seen. the amount of hairy man leg that was on display for the world to see was bordering on terryifing but really, it was the way the fabric tugged tightly across his booty that was almost indecent. as if that wasn't enough - he had a wind breaker to match. he just sort of stood there, his mouth and infamous cross-bite agape in uncertainty, as DBN and i rolled around on the floor completely hysterical. but our laughter had to be contained as grandpa bob was already out the door headed toward the pool...we ran to catch up.

what i don't think any of us understood, was that the walk to the pool included traipsing through the lobby of the retirement home...past the yiddish sing-a-long, right down the middle of the dinning room where women drank tea and along the corridor where one lady seemed particularly intrigued by the sight of ABN in all his glory....

"isn't that nice..." she slowly drawled as she looked him up and down as he walked by.

last night, as i was trying to fall asleep, this moment unexpectedly popped into my head. it caused a fit of uncontrollable giggles which led to many fewer hours of sleep than i had intended. but remembering the scene was totally worth it. i also learned an important lesson that day...never leave the house without a camera!

in other news i dressed completely inappropriately for the weather today. i'm in a coffee shop, on the other side of town and i'm freezing...so i think i'll trek back home to change. oh and...i think i have a new name for the blog. these are exciting times people...check back soon :)