i'm sitting at my old desk in my old office, typing at my old computer. it feels, in this moment like the last six months never happened. like nothing has changed. like i live in boston, not san fran. like i work at jbbbs, not pineapple nation. like i work-out at the gym, not by walking through the tenderloin. strange...no? it's like the end of a long running sitcom, where the lead character realizes it was all only a dream.
the last couple of days in boston have been everything that has been missing from my life. filled with the best of friends, really cold air and the right amount of sushi. CURLY and HIGHLIGHTS picked us up in westport where we had a final snack of homemade popovers and tea (my father, who has been baking for the last 12 years, since we moved east, seems to be trying to set a world record - how much TO DIE FOR cuisine one individual can create). i would have stayed in the over-packed car forever - long after the 2.5 hour drive was over. our first boston meal was at fuck-you sushi...yum - the spicy tuna and sweet potato rolls had never tasted so good. yesterday was spent with the LOUDEST RED HEAD and then a hysterical dinner cooked mostly by me in CURLY's kitchen - ABN hates it when i use the word PERFECTION but really i don't know what else to say.
this morning my REPLACEMENT (who i'm obsessed with) picked me up and i anxiously walked into jbbbs. it's not that i didn't want to visit - in fact, i did so badly i couldn't wait until my scheduled time on friday. i'm just so aware of how right it feels to be here with the jewish and the social work and the HARV...i feel overwhelmed by how much i miss it. and at the same time, talking to HARV, seeing his stress and anxiety, not just about work but life too, i think i'm in a good place right now - styling people. and writing. i'm thinking of cutting my hours, and writing more.
i had a drink with CASTLE ROOMMATE. she is such a good friend and we have so much shared history. wherever she goes she turns heads with her beauty, her poise and her sharp sense of humor. when i listen to her talk i only hope that she's happy.
the only hard part about this trip is what a mess BESTIE's life is right now. we knew before we arrived but i think we understand more since we have gotten here. it's all consuming for us and for him. i want to grab him and shake him. i want him to understand how worried his friends are, how worried his mother is. but he can't seem to hear us. i'm scared for him. and i'm frustrated.
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